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.. And I was always ‘a bit different’.”We see pictures of young Carl, still a toddler, dressing as a Disney Princess... “I loved dressing up as a girl ... I played with dollies ... I loved playing with mother’s make-up...”A picture of a young boy with lipstick, rouge, eyeliner – looking like an 8 year old slut!“I never considered myself to be gay ... I always thought I was a girl ... With a penis...”A shot of a naked teen, with his dick and balls tucked between his legs creating a little hairy triangle at the crotch. The boy’s arms in the air, a big smile – showing off.“So – the natural thing to do was – to get rid of the penis ... But it took me a long, long time to build up the courage to finally do that ... Not until I was in my 40s ... And then, after I decided I wanted to do it, I had to convince those nice people at the National Health Service ... Which took me until I was 50!”We cut back to the interview as Carol continues to tell her story.“In the meantime, I was very confused. Utter and complete despair. ‘I couldn’t find any reason to go on, no way to stop the pain. I missed her, I needed her, why didn’t she stay with me. I was a pathetic self-centred wretch. I sat there for hours before I realised that I didn’t have the courage to do it. So I had to face the music. I examined the last four years and I began to realise what a selfish bastard I had been. Not once in all that time had I thought about what your mother wanted, needed. As for Patricia and the girls, well how she stood by me I’ll never know. Killing myself wouldn’t solve anything would it, only to hurt those I loved so I turned away. I phoned Patricia and bared my soul. I drove home and we spent the night talking. She took me back Guy, why, I don’t know but she did. She saved me I think but I still had to see your mother one last time to explain. ‘Off course my disappearing like that had now made Silvio realise how much pain his return had caused, how much I’d had to give up and, in a strange.
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